Crazy (_!_) Dreams Possibly Turned Realistic Nightmares =/

Man Its 8 A.M. on a Sunday.
Usually I would not be up but I can't ever go back to sleep,
after having a couple crazy but, possibly futuristic dreams
based on realistic events. Well its not that I can't but I
really choose not too. I'll start off with telling you the first dream.
Ok so I attend Carson Highschool, and I am in this program entitled A.S.A.
(for those who want to know what the acronym means it is Advanced Studies Academy)
Now my school is very diverse and you can simply attend CHS and notice the diversity but for some reason in A.S.A. I actually get the feel of it.

There is majority filipinos, there's cuban, there's samoan, there's asian(but I think I should qualify that as filipino because of what one of my filipino/asian friends told me)and then there's mexicans and then you have your selection of black kids which in each grade is only about 5 kids. Now I'd hate to look at things like this but hey can't block out reality but I honestly think the black children have to work harder to prove themselves which I feel is unfair. I feel like I shouldn't have to prove myself to anybody you should just accept me as I am. But in this program we get the typical stereotypes that we don't attempt to do our work or some shii so its like we have to work twice as harder. Thing is at first I thought it was jusst me who felt this way but it's not because I've talked to like 3 other black kids in the program and they feel the same.

But anyways back to the dream so this filipino girl(I won't put any names out there) that I have never had a problem with, I mean seriously we have worked on a couple of group projects together in classes I've never had a problem with her, but then out of no where she decides to flip. So it starts off with me sitting in a chair then something happens and the table falls over and Idk but I think I go to pick my things that fell on the floor up and pick the table back up and I come back and the girl is in my seat so I say I was sitting there but its cool no big deal then she gets smart and was like you can move to another spot so I look at her like wtf excuse me? then like 5 mins later we in each other faces and i'm like wtf is your problem before you was acting all nice and shii like you liked me and she starts yelling like I never liked you so I push her back and I'm like get the f'k out my face like I was literally ready to whoop her (_!_). But after that all I can remember is someone moving me away from the situation. Idk if she was tripping over the race thing or if she was just simply turning into another one of the worlds average fake female. Either way I can't stand either of those things. One I don't even like visiting my grandfather because of his racist mentality towards just everybody. The things I hear when I am around him are rediculous. My father is always stressing that I need to see him more but I just feel I don't need to be around people like that. Just Friday my dad was getting mad talking about I need to know the story as to why he is like that But I feel like it wouldn't make a difference of me knowing the story because it wouldn't change the fact that his mentality is the way it is. Two I don't have many female friends just for the simple fact that things like this can happen.

The other wierd part about the dream was that I don't get into much conflict so for me to just flip over something like this was like wow. But I mean if it does happen and I react like this now I won't be shocked. Can't say I didn't see it coming =/

Dream 2: Ok so dream two wasn't a long dream just for the simple fact that I purposely woke my self out of my own sleep because I didn't want to go any further in the dream. A while back I told you about my role-models becoming friends again and squashing all the problems they had. Well apparently everything that should have been said before wasn't so all of that came out at the wrong place and wrong time and lets just say they're back at "being cool on each other again" for those who know what that means. For those that don't it simply means i'm backing off of you for a period of time and letting you have your space basically i'm done with everything about you. (Note they've had about a 15 yr. friendship) (Sidenote these are two people I look up too so of course seeing them act the way they are has some affect on me)So basically since it's happening for the second time, this time i've just been trying to block out the fact that it is happening and continuing to keep my focus hoping that eventually like the last time eventually this will all just blow over and they will continue to be friends. Well the dream I had like I said was short because I ended it intentionally. But it basically was me asking Role-Model #1 if role-model #2 hadn't died what would she go back and change before the beef. That right there was enough for me I jumped out of my sleep almost in a cold sweat and with this crazy gut feeling and tears sliding down my face.(Also note that I am not much of a cryer I have to be beyond pissed or it really has to be something serious) This was something serious because I don't ever want to have to imagine the fact of losing someone who I built up this close bond with. I mean it's happened to me before and it was the worst feeling ever knowing that you couldn't do anything about it because once they're gone they're just gone. Then I wouldn't even know how to react if I did have to ask that question to anybody after hearing the answer which is part of the reason I woke myself up. Thing is I can usually go to either one of my role-models and tell them what's going on or one of my problems but this is a problem I can't go to either one of them with. Because I can't tell role-model #2 that I had a dream about her dying thats just not something you go to people with randomly and putting all these types of worries on and then I can't go to Role-Model #1 with this because lord knows how she would react. Like I said once someone is gone they're gone and there is nothing you can do about it but for some reason I feel like when I have dreams like this it is God trying to show and tell you something, idk maybe a sign that you can do something about it before it happens to turn out to be de ja vu'. Thing is I don't know how to go about doing something about it because lord knows I don't want shii to end up like this. This is simply that message that Don't let the simplest things in a friendship escalate into this hectic problem because you never know if you will get that chance to patch things up again. Things can end before you least expect it and then one day it will be too late.

I'm hoping that neither one of these dreams turn into reality because I can't deal with this shii. I need suggestions ya'll really for dream #2! What do you suggest that I do to prevent this from happening. What I mean is what do you suggest I do to help them end they're little beef before shii ends up like that and its too late? Things didn't hit me until now because now I feel like I have to deal with it instead of trying to act like it didn't happen. If you're reading this hit me on aim and let me know or drop a comment.